How do I know this? Because these were the three sins I was accused of when talking to Douglas Wilson's daughter, Rachel, this past weekend.
If you don't know who Douglas Wilson is, you can read this great article written by the American Conservative (because, you know, this way no one can say it's published by a liberal publication and therefore something that should be dismissed).
I found it funny that I was accused of those three sins. I mean, we're all arrogant sometimes, and we all have undue pride, and we all lie. But the thing is that I entered this conversation as an author of a book that was being read and discussed. I was told my book was "a hot mess" and "sloppy." No details were offered, just a general "I don't like your book." Which is fine, but what isn't fine is to accuse me of lying when I'm pointing out facts, to say I don't have ethics (I was asking for permission to quote from a private conversation and the response was, "I'm sure you quote without asking for permission." I mean, I was LITERALLY asking for it, smh). And then there were the constant references to things being "ugly." I know fundamentalist women need to be pretty, pleasing, and silent. But what is ugly about an honest conversation? It's only ugly for those who can't have one.
Which brings me to the conclusion that fundamentalism is at heart filled with arrogance. It's a prideful belief system that lies to itself and others. Why else would they think that everyone is lying to them and about them? Why else do they act as if everyone's so arrogant that they can't talk to them, while they are the ones who refuse to listen? Why else do they claim people's pride prevents them to see the truth, while they are the ones who are so blind you could put a flashlight in their faces and they still wouldn't see the light? People always see the sins that they are guilty of themselves in others, because they can't stand being the objects of such treatment. They lie, because they can't stand liars; they cheat, because they can't stand being cheated at. It's a self-defeating circle that makes everyone blind to their own flaws. And it makes them also unable to see when others aren't doing what they are accused of.
The narcissist thinks everything is everyone else's fault.
The fundamentalist thinks everyone else is wrong.
Same problem, different solution, same end-result.
You can't change people, that we know. But what we can do is put a human sized mirror in front of them and have them point their fingers rights back at them. It's what Jesus talked about when he mentioned the log and the speck.
Fundamentalists have to learn that the sins that are committed within the walls of their own house belong there and must be dealt with there before they can go out the door and talk about everyone else's sins.
I hope Rachel will learn this too in a not too distant future.