A further concern I have with the message and tone of contemporary feminism is that women have evidently forgotten that we have power over men as a result of the fact that we’re women—men adore us, and almost all their efforts at work or at home or in social settings, are made to win our approval, if not our admiration. In short, I am bewildered by the fact that in a culture in which The Patriarchy has never had less power over women, women seem to want to attribute to it a greater power than men in fact have, thereby confining women to a position of victimhood and powerlessness.
Let me say that again: men need us. It’s silly to enter into a conversation about women and men without acknowledging the basic biological drives of our species. I’ve never known a heterosexual man who isn’t constantly preoccupied with thoughts of women.Their own nature is at work against self-possession: the sight or the thought of a woman can overturn a man’s thoughts, his will, and seriously compromise his reason and unbalance his ability to make decisions.
The reason I bring up Mr. Peterson, and patriarchy, is the comment section that follows the above Quillette article. A lot of people, mostly men, repudiate patriarchy's existence as a myth. Patriarchy is just something feminists bring up to portray themselves as victims of a non-existent male oppression and it's a nonsense that needs to be stopped, the sooner the better. But what's so incredibly interesting is that men portray themselves as victims of feminism. They feel emasculated, misunderstood, undervalued, among other sentiments, which begs the question: what personal responsibility do men have when it comes to their dealings with women? Shouldn't they learn to deal with women's complaints with the same brush-off manner women are told by Ms. Simon's to deal with men's sexual advances? It gets even more complicated when we consider the idea that if only women would let men be, society would be a better place. But when women do let men be (the common complaint from the incel crowd), it's followed by acrid denouncements of women as selfish, catty, and ungrateful. Women should be grateful to get attention from men, and they should reward men who give them attention by giving them sex. So in the end we find that it's all about sex, who gets it and who doesn't. It's not a way to empower people, although according to Ms. Simon women should loosen up and realize that flirting is empowering:
As women, we might realize that these moments can be empowering rather than demeaning. After all, it takes courage for a man to approach a woman, as it exposes him to vulnerability and to the risk of rejection. We might even consider these advances as something exciting, spicy, fun! Or we might return them with a slap. Either way, it’s time for us to start doing this.
That said, I am absolutely convinced that American women should relax when it comes to flirting. Not every sexual encounter is a marriage proposal or an attempted assault. But I'm equally convinced that American men would do well to learn from the Italians how to flirt with style; no one likes crudeness. In other words, a heap of respect, a bit of flair, and a smidgen of good old-fashioned kindness would go far to resolve the issue of distrust and restore everyone's faith in members of the opposing sex (at least to a degree that makes civil conversation possible), reducing victimization and hurt feelings all around.