Rules are designed to keep things from changing, that's why we have rules. The idea that we can change things if we play by the rules is as absurd as the thought that we can move forward by standing still. If we want change, we have to change the rules. And in order to change the rules, we have to stop playing by the rules.
Most, if not all, women have heard at least once in their lifetime that they should act like a lady, and what is meant by it is a behavior that doesn't challenge anyone or anything. A lady knows how not to upset those around her. She smiles. She nods. She is polite. She is well-behaved. She doesn't make history.
The women who didn't behave well a hundred years ago made history, and the testimony of the greatness of their contribution is seen in how these women are being largely ignored by an increasingly patriarchal society. Consider how we tend to divorce these women from the rights they gained for the future generations. Who remembers Lucretia Mott? How about Lucy Stone? Who mentions Carrie Chapman Catt? Or Alice Stokes Paul? Women are encouraged to vote without ever hearing the names of the suffragists who worked over seventy years to give women the right to vote. The unintended consequence of divorcing the suffragists from the nineteenth amendment is that we inadvertently give patriarchy the credit and risk losing the very rights we as women take for granted. For if we think men gave us the franchise, we also give them the ability to take it away. But if we realize that as women we had to fight for the right to vote, we aren't as quick to hand it over.
We must realize that the silence that surrounds the women from our past is designed to silence us as women in the present.
Silence is one of the rules patriarchy would have us follow. And we do find that those who play by this rule find patriarchy (almost) benign; those who won't, don't. Yet, if we play by the rules and remain silent we won't change a thing; if we behave well, we will be praised, but we will also transmit the patriarchal mindset to our children, and the worldview will be perpetuated indefinitely.
However, we must remember that just because we won't act according to the rules of patriarchy doesn't mean we won't love our neighbors the way we love ourselves. In fact, there is very little love in patriarchy; it's mostly guided by inflated egos that need all the protection they can get lest they be deflated by truth. When we speak the truth in love we do something patriarchy cannot: we build the body of Christ and help it mature as we allow all the members do their part (Eph 4:11-16). And that's worth being considered ill-behaved in the eyes of patriarchy.